Into the Fire
by reptilia28
Summary: Dying sucks, but when I woke up to find myself in the Konohagakure surrounded by ninja, I had the nagging feeling that living was going to suck so much more. And that was before I realized when I was or who I was related to. Pre-series. SI fic. Rated M for language, and probable future violence.
1. Dying Sucks, but Living Sucks More

My first time doing a self-insert fic. Hope you guys like it.

I own nothing in this story except my original character.

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**Chapter 1 - Dying Sucks, but Living Sucks More**

Dying sucks.

"Well no shit," you're probably saying right now, so perhaps I should elaborate a bit. More specifically, _my_ death sucked. The details of that little mess aren't really that important. All you need to know is that it was swift, it was sudden, and in hindsight, I probably should have seen it coming. Oh well, what can you do?

Whatever happened after one shuffles off the mortal coil was never a topic I put too much thought into. By most religions' standards, I would probably have earned a free lifetime pass to the underground steam room due to my lack of belief, along with my various youthful indiscretions. Whatever the case, waking up to find myself in the body of a baby definitely wasn't at the top of my list of most likely destinations.

Back in my old life, I briefly studied child development. I forget the exact details, but the gist of what I'm getting at is that when children are first born, their brains aren't quite "awake" yet, so they're pretty much running on autopilot for the first couple of months. Apparently this also applies to twenty-somethings reborn into babies as well, since my recollection of the first couple months of my new life is a haze with one day blurring into the next.

Then again, since all I really would have done in that time was eat, sleep, and mess my diaper, perhaps I simply repressed that time so as to not snap from sheer boredom.

I did learn a few things though. The first, and most important thing is that my new parents _don't freaking speak English_. I'm not an expert on the various Asian languages, but my first guess would be Japanese. I hope that I also inherited a young child's ability to absorb information like a sponge, because if not, I'm _fucked_. I _suck_ at learning languages. I struggled to learn German, and that was a language I actually _wanted_ to learn.

But I digress.

I'm pretty certain it's Japanese, since my new name is apparently Riku, which last I checked was a Japanese name. It's close enough to my old name that I don't really mind, even if it sounds a little girly for my taste. I blame Final Fantasy X for that. Thankfully, I was born with all my original plumbing intact; I don't know how I would have handled being reborn as a girl. A freak out of epic proportions, most likely.

Another thing I learned is that my parents are probably pretty well off financially. Though my newly infantile perspective may be skewing things a bit, this house I live in now seems awfully big, and I read somewhere that space is a premium in Japan, so you needed to have a decent income in order to afford a house with a decent amount of real estate.

Thus far, being reborn has been a bit of a double-edged sword for me. On the one hand, it's nice to have your every need attended to and not have to give a shit about anything. On the other hand, there are certain things about my adult life that I miss, like walking. Or talking. Or chewing. Or being able to see past a foot from your face.

…Okay, that last one isn't anything new, but still! All in all, life as an infant has been a rather lackluster experience for me. Been there, done that, don't need to do it again.

I was about six months old when things started to go tits up for me. By then my motor skills had developed enough for me to crawl around on my own, and _I could finally see shit! Huzzah!_ Unfortunately, I didn't like what I saw. As soon as I was ambulatory, I started searching for a mirror. I was curious about how I looked now, okay? Anyway, I found a mirror and, under any other circumstances, I would have thought that I was a damn cute baby. Messy black hair, black eyes like a teddy bear, that little button nose that all babies seem to have, I was adorable. But what caught my attention was the blue onesie I was wearing with a very familiar red-and-white fan embroidered on the front.

The red-and-white fan that symbolized the Uchiha clan. The Uchiha, as in the clan from _Naruto_.

The Uchiha, as in the clan that conspired to rebel against the leader of the village for…_something_, fuck if I know. Maybe they were being repressed or some shit like that.

The Uchiha, as in the clan that, as punishment for said conspiracy, was reduced from a clan of hundreds to a clan of three in a single night by a kid whose balls had just begun to drop. And the worst part was, I had no idea where on the timeline I ended up in. The Uchiha Massacre could happen in 50 years, or it could happen tomorrow. I had absolutely no idea.

As I sat in front of that mirror trying not to bawl my eyes out, I realized then that as much as dying may have sucked, living was going to such so much more.

* * *

Since that day, life was a series of ups and downs. I tried my best to enjoy my new lease on life, and some days I actually succeeded, but I always went to bed with that pants-shitting fear of waking up with my throat sliced open.

My new parents were another issue. They weren't _bad_ or anything, in fact they were great, which was the problem. Right now I'm sure you're wondering what sort of brain damage I must have to think that having good parents is a _bad_ thing. The thing is, I distinctly remember my parents from before, and that I loved them. Sure, I got into all sorts of juvenile snits whenever they impeded on what I perceived to be my independence, but at the end of the day I loved them, and I was averse to accepting my new caretakers. I felt that if I did, then I would be betraying my parents' memory. But as I was loved and cared for by these strangers, a small part of me did start to consider these people my parents, which made the rest of me feel guilty and ashamed. So yeah, anticipation over my eventual murder with a side helping of self-loathing; I don't know what sort of effect all this stress is having on my developing body, but I can't imagine that it's anything healthy.

But I digress.

Amidst all this angst, I wondered what I should do concerning the events of the series. Should I try to interfere, or should I just let things ride out as they're supposed to? I was familiar with the series up to the end of the Pain Arc, though only in broad strokes as I had only reached about halfway through the Chunin Exams Arc in the anime. The romantic notions of giving Naruto a friend while growing up and saving my favorite characters from an untimely demise was quickly quashed by the reality that not only was I not in a position to actually do anything about it, but as soon as I nudged anything in the canon timeline, things would likely go wildly off course and render all that foreknowledge worth jack shit. I eventually decided to focus my effort on figuring out a way to survive the Uchiha Massacre first.

My…Tou-san…was an active ninja, judging by the hitai-ate he wore around his brow. He also wore one of those green flak jackets with a dozen pockets on them, so he was at least a chunin. My Kaa-san took care of me full-time, so she was either a civilian, retired, or Konoha was very generous with its maternity leave. She would often talk or sing to me, especially if I was being fussy or seemed down – which, granted, was often – so I managed to pick up the language fairly quickly. I wouldn't call myself fluent, but I could follow the gist of a conversation spoken in front of me.

I was walking and talking by a year old, which brought my parents no end of pride. Potty training began soon after and went rather smoothly; like hell I was going to wear that nasty, awkward diaper any longer than absolutely necessary. I didn't get a grasp on reading till I was about three-and-a-half though, so no prodigy accolades for me. Considering that all the prodigies in the series I could think of were assholes and one of them ended up wiping out his – _my_ – clan, I was fine with that. The real interesting shit happened right after I turned three.

It was a couple of weeks after my birthday when Tou-san sat down next to me, interrupting my attempt to recreate the Eiffel Tower with wooden blocks.

"Riku-chan, want to play a game?" he asked, goofy grin spread wide.

"Okay!" I chirped with a toothy smile, giving my best impression of a three-year-old.

"Great!" Tou-san quipped back before he clapped his hands together, the first two fingers extended with one slightly over the other. I automatically imitated the stance as best I could. I had an idea of where this was going, but was curious as to what was going to happen next. "Okay, close your eyes and concentrate," he instructed. I closed my eyes and relaxed, trying to tune out the world around me. "You should feel a swirling warmth around your tummy area. Do you feel it?" he continued. Fighting the urge to snort at the word "tummy," I tried to find this sensation he described. It took a minute, but I found it. I can't really describe it except as a swirling warm sensation in my stomach area. I informed Tou-san that I had found what he was describing. "Okay, now I want you to imagine scooping up that warmth and spreading it all over your body; top of your head to your toes, okay?" Nodding, I proceeded to do as I was told. I felt the warmth spread out from my stomach throughout me until my whole body felt warm. "Now, push out as hard as you can." Scrunching up my face in concentration, I mentally pushed all the warmth out at once. This is harder work than it sounds, and I was breaking a sweat in seconds. "Okay, that's enough, you can stop now," Tou-san said, and I immediately stopped pushing. Panting heavily, I opened my eyes to see Tou-san with his Sharingan activated.

"Tou-san, did I do it right?" I asked, uncertain what else to say.

"You did fine, Riku-chan," he assured me as his red eyes faded back to black. "What you just did was push out your chakra," he said with a proud smile. I tilted my head quizzically.

"Chak'a?" I said, feigning ignorance.

"_Chakra,_" Tou-san corrected me gently. He proceeded to give me a lecture on the nature of chakra, dumbed down for my pre-school mind. "I'd say you have more chakra than I did at your age. That means you're going to grow up to be a big, strong ninja like your old man!" he declared with a thumb up in victory.

At this point, I nearly pissed myself in terror. Becoming a ninja was the _last_ thing I wanted. I had moral qualms with training people to become soldiers and assassins before they even hit puberty. And more selfishly, I didn't want to become a ninja because ninja tend to die fairly young, and I rather like living.

"No!" I shouted childishly. "I wanna stay home with Kaa-san!" A lame excuse, I noted, but toddlers aren't exactly renown for being expert debaters. Tou-san seemed shocked by my declaration; apparently, he wasn't expecting such a negative reaction.

"Riku-chan," he said patiently, "It's your honor and duty as an Uchiha to become a shinobi. I'm sure your mother would understand if you became one. She used to be a kunoichi – a girl ninja – herself, you know," he continued. Ah, so that answered that question. Still, back to the matter at hand…

"No!" I repeated emphatically, crossing my arms and pouting. Tou-san sighed and shook his head in disappointment.

"You'll understand when you're older," he assured me before he attempted to change the subject. "Wanna see a cool trick?" he asked, suddenly all smiles again. He extracted a leaf from his pocket and balanced it on the tip of his finger. Then he turned his hand so that he was pointing down, with the leaf still stuck fast to his digit. "You want to learn how to do this?" he asked.

"Uh-huh…" I said with a bob of my head. I recognized what he was doing, but despite myself I found myself curious about how to do those chakra control tricks.

"Okay, first you have to…" Tou-san explained the principles of chakra control to me and gave me the leaf to try. The first step was to stick the leaf onto my forehead, which I failed at abysmally. Despite the rough patch earlier, I had a good time that day.

That conversation periodically came up throughout the next few years. My parents, individually or together would broach the subject of joining the ninja academy with me, and I always refused. Sometimes I gave a reason, other times I simply shouted "No!" until they dropped the matter. Not my proudest moments, but they worked, so I couldn't complain. Despite that, my father continued to teach me basic shinobi skills disguised as games; I went along with because despite my aversion to the lifestyle, knowing these things could benefit me in the future, should I live long enough. I managed to complete the leaf-sticking exercise with my forehead and was working on making it stick to my palm. I was also fairly decent with thrown weapons; I wasn't hitting bullseyes every time, but I could reliably hit the target and make them stick.

I received another shock when I was five. I was practicing my reading and writing when my parents came up to me with smiles on their faces.

"Riku-chan, guess what?" Kaa-san asked.

Before I could come up with an answer, Tou-san said, "You're going to be a big brother soon! Isn't that great?" I didn't really know what to say to that. In my old world I was an only child, so I didn't know the first thing about having a younger sibling.

"…Really?" I eventually squeezed out. It probably wasn't the reaction they were quite hoping for, judging by how their smiles lowered slightly.

"Are you all right, Riku?" Kaa-san asked me as she knelt down to be level with me. "You're not upset about this, are you?" she continued in concern. My mind swirled with thoughts. I was having a hard enough time trying to think of a way to save myself from the Massacre, never mind my parents; having a sibling simply complicated things further. I couldn't even protect myself from my own stupidity – if I could, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place – so how could I protect a sibling? "Oh, Riku…" Kaa-san said as she suddenly pulled me into a tight hug, her voice choked with emotion. "You have such a big heart…" she continued with a sniffle, causing me to stiffen in her arms.

Oh shit, did I say that last part out loud?

"To be so protective of your sibling…Words cannot describe how proud I am you right now, Riku," Tou-san said as he knelt down and placed a hand on my shoulder. Despite his clear voice, his eyes seemed to sparkle with unshed tears. "Hold onto that feeling, son, and I have no doubt that you'll protect your brother or sister from anything." I didn't know what to say to that, so for a few minutes, I just remained silent and absorbed the atmosphere around me.

"…So, when'll the baby be born?" I eventually asked, prompting a laugh from my parents.

"That eager to meet 'em, eh?" Tou-san chuckled as he ruffled my hair. "Well, the baby won't be born till nearly Spring, so don't get too excited, okay?" This elicited a chuckle of my own. It would only be a matter of time before life crashed around me, but for now I ignored that feeling and just enjoyed the moment.

My house always had an air of excited anticipation in it as the weeks drove on. One of the spare rooms was converted into a baby room, painted yellow with little leaves and shuriken dotted throughout. Kaa-san seemed to glow as her belly grew bigger and bigger. Tou-san began disappearing for weeks at a time, I assume to grab the high-paying missions to be able to support another child.

Things began going downhill about six months after my parents announced the pregnancy. I was practicing my throwing when Kaa-san came up to me looking utterly heartbroken.

"Riku, come here please," she said, and I immediately sat down next to her. Tou-san had been gone for nearly a month now; between that and Kaa-san's demeanor, I had a pretty good idea of what was coming up.

"Tou-san's dead, isn't he?" I blurted out. I immediately mentally smacked myself after saying that and added, "You're sad." Kaa-san seemed shocked, but quickly settled down to a mournful smile.

"You always were a bright one," she said wistfully, confirming my belief. I wrapped my arms around her, taking care not to put too much pressure on her belly, as she rubbed my back and whispered reassurances to me. I had lost family members in my old life, so I had an idea of what I should be feeling right now. But when I realized that Tou-san died, I didn't feel it. I felt a tightness in my heart, and a couple of tears leaked out, but I wasn't a sobbing wreck like someone who had just lost their father should be. God, I'm a horrible person.

The air of joy was replaced with an air of melancholy as Kaa-san and I grieved. I couldn't think of any way to cheer her up, so I simply hugged her at every opportunity, a gesture she seemed to appreciate. About a week later, I heard a loud cry of pain ring throughout the house, and I immediately dashed about to find the source. I saw Kaa-san clinging to the table with her legs limp and her face contorted with pain.

"I-it's too soon…" she whimpered out before crying out again. I looked down and saw the floor was covered in water…and blood, lots of blood. Shit. I barely knew a thing about childbirth, but I knew that seeing that much blood was never a good thing. So I did the only thing my nearly thirty-year-old mind could think of in that situation:

I screamed for help.

Thankfully someone heard me, because the next thing I know an Uchiha I didn't know came barging in and, upon see Kaa-san's state, immediately scooped her up in his arms and ran out with me chasing after him. For whatever reason he either could not or would not take her to the hospital; instead, he took her to a nearby house and hastily informed the woman residing there about what he had seen. She was quickly taken into another room. I tried to follow, but was stopped by another man – the woman's husband, perhaps?

The hours ticked by agonizingly slowly. Through the walls I could hear my mother screaming in pain, but I could do nothing to help. I anxiously gnawed on my shirt, a nervous habit that I developed in my past life, as I sat patiently. The labor continued on into the night and despite my anxiety, my five-year-old body grew weary, so I was taken into a room to sleep. After what only felt like a few minutes, I was shaken awake by the man who had found us.

"Your mother wants to see you," he said gently. Nodding, I rubbed my eyes awake and followed him into the room that Kaa-san was taken to. There was rags and medical equipment strewn throughout the room. In the center was a bed with Kaa-san, a whimpering baby in her arms. The baby seemed to be healthy, if somewhat small due to being born a month premature. Kaa-san, on the other hand, looked terrible. Her eyes were sunken, her hair was limp and stringy, and her skin was bone-white and glistening with sweat. In short, she looked like a corpse.

"Riku, come here," she beckoned weakly. I shakily walked up to her and she took my hand in hers. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I'm afraid that I won't be around for much longer. I so wish that I could see you and your brother grow up into fine young men." She groaned in pain, growing weaker with every breath. "I want you to promise me something, Riku," she said.

"Anything," I assured her as my eyes teared up. What else could I say?

"I want you to promise that you will always look after your brother," she whispered.

"I promise," I answered with a quivering voice. I finally cracked and wrapped my arms around her in the last hug I would ever give her. All the fear and grief and frustration that I had bottled up over the years came pouring out as I sobbed into her chest. She stroked my hair in a final attempt to comfort me.

"I love you so much, Riku," she said softly. "You and Obito. Be strong, my child, and keep your little brother safe." With her final words, she breathed her last breath and her heart gave its last beat. As if sensing her passing, Obito joined my sobs with his own.

…Wait, Obito?

My head suddenly snapped up to stare at the squalling infant opposite of me. A small part of me was relieved that I wouldn't have to worry about the Uchiha Massacre for a while yet. The rest of me was shocked and terrified beyond words that not only was I living in the middle of a world war where I would probably die young and horribly, but my little brother was Obito Uchiha, a.k.a. Tobi, the bastard responsible for half the horrible things that happened in the original series.

The woman who helped Kaa-san gasped in shock, and the man that brought us seemed surprised as well. I asked what was wrong; in response, the man pulled out a small mirror from his pocket and wordlessly handed it to me. As I gazed into my reflection, I saw not two black eyes staring back but two crimson orbs, each with a single swirl lazily circling around the pupil. Great, so on top of all the other shit piled on me, I now have the Sharingan as well.

I fucking hate my life.

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Don't forget to review.


	2. It's All Downhill From Here

I own the character of Riku Uchiha. Everything else belongs to someone else.

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**Chapter 2 - It's All Downhill From Here  
**

Shit. Fuck goddamn crap damn bugger bitch ass darn.

This is bad. This is very, _very_ bad. I don't want to be a ninja. The _last _thing I want to be is a ninja, _especially_ in this world. But now that I have the Sharingan before even entering school, I'm virtually guaranteed a slot in the shinobi forces.

Am I being punished for something? Because whatever I may have done in my past life, I'm pretty sure that it wasn't bad enough to warrant _this_.

But I digress.

Word of my condition quickly spread throughout the compound as I tried and utterly failed to calm down the squalling meatloaf that was my baby brother. Seeing my plight, the lady that delivered my brother took him from my arms and gave me a crash course on how to handle him. I had handled infants before, but that was when I was a teenager, not when the child I trying to carry was half my size. She had just finished showing me how to feed and burp him and was telling me how to properly swaddle him when a teenage ninja came in with a serious expression on his face.

"Riku-san, come with me," the dour young man commanded. "Kurasa-sama requests your presence immediately." Now, I had no idea who the hell Kurasa was, but judging by the suffix, he was most likely the previous clan head before Fugaku, and probably Sasuke's grandfather. I wasn't particularly eager to meet the man, but when the head honcho "requests" your presence you'd best drop whatever it is your doing and show up ASAP, so I followed Sunshine to the clan head's house. Pretty nice digs if I do say so myself, but I didn't have much time to admire the scenery as I was practically dragged along by Sunshine to Kurasa-sama's office. Stopping in front of a closed door, Sunshine rapped on the frame and waited for a response.

"Enter," a deep, gruff voice beckoned from within. Sunshine slid the door open and guided me in. The place was pretty Spartan in design, with only a desk, some chairs, and a couple shelves stuffed with scrolls and papers against the wall. Kurasa Uchiha himself was one scary son of a bitch. His face was rough and wrinkled, seemingly carved into a permanent scowl. His black eyes were like two lumps of coal as they bored into me; I fought the urge to fidget under his gaze. Even the duck-butt hairdo didn't detract from his intimidation factor; nice to know where Sasuke inherited the hair from though. "You may leave," he said to Sunshine, who bowed before departing, leaving the two of us alone. Joy. "You are Riku, correct?" he asked as he motioned me to take a seat.

"Yes, sir," I confirmed as I took the offered seat.

"I've been told that you have the Sharingan. Show me." Well, this guy doesn't beat around the bush. I pointed out to him that I didn't know how to activate it, so he told me to channel chakra to my eyes. I did so, and there's actually a noticeable difference between Sharingan-enhanced vision and the normal kind. You know how the really good, really expensive Hi-Def TVs have that really sharp, high-clarity image that practically makes your eyes ache? That's what it was like seeing through the Sharingan. Everything is so much brighter and crisper, it's amazing.

But I digress.

"Interesting," Kurasa hummed as he studied my eyes. As the seconds dragged on, I had to resist the urge to fidget. Seriously old man, it's getting creepy. Finally he looked down and turned his attention to whatever paperwork was lying before him. "You will be tutored to ensure that your education is at an acceptable level," he said without looking up. "In three months' time, you will attend the Ninja Academy. I expect you to do well there." And there it was. I knew it was coming, but it still sucked to hear it.

"I need to look after my little brother," I pointed out. As I spoke, I cut off the chakra flow to my eyes, making the world seem relatively dull and faded.

"I will send someone to care for the child," Kurasa replied without breaking stride. Damn, so much for that excuse. Well, time to take the plunge…

"And if I don't want to?" Kurasa's hand paused mid-stroke, but he still did not look up.

"If you don't want to, _what_?" he asked stonily. I gulped nervously at his tone, but pressed on.

"What if I don't want to be a ninja?" This time he turned to look at me. Slowly he stood up, towering over me as his eyes glimmered red from an activated Sharingan.

"Listen to me well, _boy_," he said, his tone halfway between a hiss and a growl. "You are an Uchiha, a member of one of the most powerful clans in the village. I will _not_ have this clan disgraced by your childish cowardice. You _will_ attend the ninja academy, and if you deliberately fail your studies, there will be consequences. _Am I understood?_"

"Consequences" is such a loaded word. It can imply so much while actually stating absolutely nothing. Even though Old Man Kurasa didn't actually threaten me with anything, my imagination is churning with possibilities, the greatest of which is sitting on a street corner with a blindfold entertaining people with my lovely falsetto.

So yeah, with a choice like that, there's only one thing to do: Bow your head and say, "As you command, Kurasa-sama." This seemed to calm him down, as his eyes faded back to their natural black and his expression relaxed from thunderous to merely grumpy. "My son Fugaku will be teaching you. Expect him at your house at six am sharp tomorrow. You are dismissed." With that I stood up, gave a bow, and bugged out as fast as decorum allowed. The faster and further I got away from that guy as I could, the better I'd feel.

Well, as of 6:00 AM tomorrow, any hopes I had of having a nice, peaceful, normal life officially goes up in smoke. Hoo-fucking-ray.

After getting a couple more lessons on childcare from the delivery lady and picking up Obito, I trudged home with a baby slung across my chest. Once I got home, I carefully set him down on my bed and placed pillows around him so he wouldn't roll off. Can newborns even roll at all? I don' t know.

I looked down at the sleeping infant and thought…well honestly, I didn't know what to think. On the one hand, this kid would grow up to be one of the greatest monsters in the Naruto universe. On the other hand, he didn't start out as a monster, and looking at him now, I just can't see Tobi. And for better or worse, he is my brother, so it's my job to look out for him. Maybe I can figure out a way to keep him from ever becoming Tobi. But if I did, then I would completely derail the canon, and did I really have the right to do that?

Ah, fuck it. I'll worry about that shit later. I got an early day tomorrow so I should get some sleep.

Obito had his own room set up across from mine. I didn't want to leave him by myself, but I also didn't want to camp out in his room, so I ended up dragging his crib across the hall into my room – not an easy feat, considering the damn thing probably weighed as much as I did. I found a stepstool and carefully lowered Obito into his crib. I gently brushed his wispy black hair, causing him to stir and make little baby grunts.

"Guess it's just you and me now, kid," I murmured as I stepped down. I managed to scavenge an alarm clock and set it to go off at 5:00 so that I may enjoy my last scrap of freedom before I shut off the lights and crawled into bed, eager for a good night's sleep.

* * *

I swear, I am going to fucking kill that brat.

About half an hour after I went to sleep, Obito started crying. It turned out that he needed his diaper changed, joy of joys. As a quick aside, back in my old life, for reasons I never quite figured out, my sense of smell was pretty much shot. I literally once stood next to a dumpster filled with rotting fish and I couldn't smell a thing. My point is, as I was changing my baby brother's diaper, I found myself longing for those days again. For cripe's sake, how can such a little baby make such a god-awful stench? Ugh…

After dealing with that shit (ha!) and putting him back to bed, I got to sleep for another hour before he started crying again. Turned out he was hungry, again! After spending 15 minutes trying to figure out how to properly prepare the formula, I managed to feed him and burp him. That whole process took about an hour, plus the time it took me to put him back to bed. Another hour or so later, he started crying _again_, this time for…fuck, I don't know. He wasn't hungry, he didn't need his diaper changed, and I even gave him another pat on the back in case another burp was trying to work its way out. Nothing, I couldn't figure out what he wanted, so I eventually resorted to awkwardly rocking him and humming tunelessly to try and calm him down. He settled down eventually…after about two hours of non-stop wailing. This whole process repeated itself a couple times over the course of the night, with me getting no more than a couple hours of sleep at a time. Next thing I knew, I had an alarm clock ringing in my face. That _bring-ing-ing-ing_ was the death knell of my old life.

Grabbing my trusty stepstool, I trudged into the kitchen to make breakfast. Sadly, there was no coffee to be found; I did find some green tea bags though, so that was something. Peeking into the fridge, I found some rice and various leftovers, so I slapped all that together into an ugly pile that kinda sorta resembled a meal to my sleep-addled mind. Sitting down with that and a large cup of extra-strong green tea (I think I used four or five bags) mixed with enough honey to make Winnie the Pooh jealous, I tucked in. Of course, about halfway through my meal, my darling brother started crying again, so I had to go take care of that.

At about quarter-to-six, I heard someone knock on the front door. Having just fed and burped Obito, I decided to take him with me when I answered. Standing in the doorway was a girl, about thirteen by my guess, with a Konoha forehead protector and chunin vest.

"Hi there, I'm Mikoto," she greeted cheerfully. "I was told that there was a baby that needed looking after here?" she inquired. I blinked at her for a few seconds as my brain finally processed what she said. Why did that name sound so familiar? …Oh right, Sasuke's mom. Small world. I stepped aside and beckoned her in.

"Here he is," I said as I passed Obito to her. "His name's Obito. Can I get you anything?"

"Tea, please," Mikoto answered as she looked down at the baby in her arms. "Obito, huh? Well you're a cutie, aren't you, Obito-chan?" she cooed as she sat down at the table. Obito gave one of his squeaky baby grunts in response.

"Cute?" I snorted as I prepared a cup of regular tea for her and another cup of super-duper tea for myself. "Freakin' hellspawn is more like it."

"That's not very nice!" Mikoto chided me before turning her attention back to Obito. "Your nii-san's a big meanie isn't he, Obito-chan? Yes he is, yes he is," she said in a baby-talk voice.

"Just you wait 'til you have kids," I retorted as I set her tea before her. "See how cheerful you are after being up at all odd hours of the night feeding them and changing diapers that really should be classified as chemical weapons or something." Grimacing at the memory of that horrible stench, I sipped down my super-strong, super-sweet "tea."

As Mikoto continued to coo over and coddle Obito, I pointed out where the various supplies were and when I had last fed him. All too soon, I heard another knocking at the door. With great trepidation, I opened the door to see – oh look, it's Sunshine! On his part, the dour-faced guy looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

"Riku-san, come with me," he ordered shortly before turning around and walking off. Shutting the door behind me, I dashed to catch up to him as he led me to a large clearing near one of the compound walls where dummies and other training equipment were set up. Turning to me, he crossed his arms and said, "First off, the ground rules. First, you will only address me as 'sir' or 'sensei.'" As you wish, _Sunshine-sensei_. "Second, we will be meeting here every day at six 'o clock sharp until you enter the academy; _do not be late_. Third, there will be no complaints or backtalk. I have better things to do than babysit snot-nosed brats, so I will not tolerate any whining. Am I understood?" _Jawohl, mein Kommandant_. Christ, who pissed in your Cheerios this morning? "Now begin your stretches, you have ten minutes." After ten minutes of stretching my muscles, Sunshine turned to me again. "Now, one lap around the compound."

"What?!" I exclaimed in outrage. "This place is huge! You really expect me to run all the way around it?"

"What did I say about complaining?" Sunshine snapped with a glare. "One more word out of you and it'll be _two_ laps. Now get moving."

Gritting my teeth to keep from saying anything stupid, I took off at a light jog. Even with my slow, even pace, my short and inexperienced legs soon tired out, and I eventually collapsed about one-quarter around with legs that felt like they had been dipped in napalm. Sunshine kneeled beside me and sneered in disappointment before slinging me over his shoulder and hauling my weary ass back to the training area.

Unceremoniously dropping me on the grass, he tossed me a bottle of water and ordered me to drink. Well thank you, Sergeant Hardass. Five minutes later my legs had recovered enough that I could stand up, though I was still a bit wobbly.

"Next I will be testing your accuracy," he said as withdrew five shuriken and kunai from various pockets on his person. "Strike those five targets," he said, pointing to indicate the wooden circles in question before handing me the weapons. Being careful not to cut myself on them, I took careful aim and threw them as hard as I could. Three shuriken and two kunai hit the center, but all ten projectiles struck the targets at some point. For almost a minute he just stared at the targets impassively.

"Mmm, acceptable…for a normal child," he finally ruled. Glancing down at me, he added, "But not acceptable for one who holds the Sharingan. I assume you don't know any ninjutsu or taijutsu?" I shook my head in denial. With a put-upon sigh, he said, "I thought not. Very well, for the next three months I will be tutoring you on these skills. For now we will be doing taijutsu. First, you must…"

Pain is life, and life is pain.

That was what coursed through my mind as I trudged home at sundown, zombie-like in gait. I ached in places that I didn't know existed and my body felt like one enormous bruise. I shuffled in to see Mikoto playing with Obito at the table. With barely a grunt of greeting, I flopped into a chair and promptly face-planted into the table.

"Are you okay?" she asked in concern.

"Not really," I grunted in response. "Hurt everywhere." Next thing I know, I have a small tin of…something set next to me. "Whuzzat?" I groaned.

"Muscle balm," Mikoto said, "for the pain." I grunted in thanks before grabbing the tin and pulling it closer to me. "Are you going to be okay? Do you need me to stick around for a bit longer?" she asked as she placed a hand on my shoulder. With great effort, I pulled my head up and started to unscrew the tin lid.

"Nah, I think I'm good. Thanks," I replied as I began to lather the goopy medicine on my arms. It was pretty potent stuff; I had barely put it on before I felt the ache in my muscles melting away into blissful numbness.

"If you're sure…" she said as she set Obito down next to me. "I just fed him, so he'll be fine for now. See you tomorrow, Riku-kun. _Bye-bye, 'Bito-chan!_" she cooed, giving the baby a tap on the forehead before departing. I watched her leave before turning back to my wide-eyed baby brother.

"Looks like you had a better day than I did," I noted dryly as I continued to apply the balm to my aching body. Immediately Obito started to make that whimper that heralded another crying fit. "Oh, son of a—" I groaned. I quickly wiped the excess balm goop off my fingers on my pants before picking him up and started rocking him. "What's wrong with you now?" I groaned as Obito began to hit his stride. "She just fed you, so it's not that." A quick sniff showed that he didn't need his diaper changed, so that just left his because-I-feel-like-it cries. Okay, need something to calm him down. Think, think, think, think, think, think. "_Dancing bears, painted wings, things I almost remember…_" I started singing the first song I could think of to calm him down. "_And a song someone sings, once upon a December…._"

I wouldn't call myself a great – or even a good – singer, but it seemed to be working, since his cries were receding in both volume and intensity. I kept going, and by the end of the song he had gone from sobs to whimpers to tearful hiccups. I started singing "Beauty and the Beast" to keep him calm as I carried him to our room and lowered him into his crib.

"Well, we managed to survive today, kid," I muttered to the sleeping baby. "Let's see if we can pull it off again tomorrow." Hopping off my stepstool, I went into the kitchen to slap together a small dinner before washing up and flopping into bed, immediately falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

For three months, that was my routine. Get half the sleep I needed due to my brother, meet Mikoto, and go with Sunshine to get my ass pummeled into the ground before rinsing and repeating. I never thought I'd say this, but by the end I was actually looking forward to attending the ninja academy. It couldn't possibly be worse than the crap I'd already been suffering.

...In Sunshine's defense, I _have_ been improving. I can now do one-and-a-half laps around the compound before wiping out, and my aim has improved somewhat. I even learned a couple of small jutsu, which was cool.

Mikoto was a huge help during that time. She was perfectly happy taking care of Obito, and she was getting regular C-Rank pay for essentially being my on-retainer babysitter, so it wasn't like she was losing out on income. Speaking of her, I took Obito with me, so she escorted me to the academy so she could take him off my hands when I got there.

About two weeks ago, Obito's brain had finally woken up and he started getting livelier. And in the past three months I had been neglecting my appearances, so my hair was longer than I was normally comfortable with. Unfortunately, this combination of factors meant that for the whole walk to the academy, Obito was trying to yank my hair out and eat it. Kid had quite a grip on my locks too, ouch.

When we got there, there was a crowd of kids saying goodbye to their parents in front of the building. Most of the kids seemed to be in the neighborhood of ten years old.

"Well, I guess this is where we part ways," I said as I passed Obito off to Mikoto. He seemed to have other ideas as he grabbed two fistfuls of my hair and tugged hard. Ugh, I am so getting a haircut tonight.

"Aww, he misses you already," Mikoto laughed as she helped free my hair from Obito's death grip. Taking one arm, she proceeded to wave at me. "Say bye-bye, Nii-chan! Bye-bye, Nii-chan!" she said in a high voice. Obito looked away and shoved his free hand into his mouth and proceed to drool all over it. Gee, I love you too, brat.

"I'll see you tonight," I bid them farewell as they left. I turned to face the academy and tried not to fidget in anxiety.

"Who was she?" a voice beside me asked. I turned to the questioner and saw a blond boy. He seemed older than me but younger than the rest of the kids; I'd peg him at about eight. He seemed familiar, though I couldn't quite figure out why. "If you don't mind me asking," he added quickly. I shrugged in acceptance.

"She my…cousin," I said after a moment of thought. I never bothered asking just how closely related we were, but we were both Uchiha, so cousin seemed to be the best word to use. "The baby was my brother. She's babysitting him for me."

"Really?" he asked. "Why aren't your parents looking after him?"

"Orphan." It was an honest question, and there was no way he could have known about my situation, so I answered as casually as I could. He still flinched appropriately at that revelation.

"Sorry," he groaned.

"You didn't know," I said with another shrug. After a few seconds of awkward silence, I stuck my hand out to him. "Name's Riku. Riku Uchiha." Seriously, why did this kid seems so familiar?

Glad for the change of subject, he took my extended hand with a wide grin. "Nice to meet you, Riku-san," he said cheerfully. "I'm Minato, Minato Namikaze."

…Oh, that's why.

* * *

And there's chapter 2 of Into the Fire. Don't forget to leave a review.


	3. Thoughtless Meddling Has Consequences

I own Riku Uchiha. I own nothing else.

* * *

**Chapter 3 - Thoughtless Meddling Has Consequences**

After Minato introduced himself, the teachers filed us inside, so we didn't get much chance to mingle. We came to what I assume is the main classroom. We shuffled around to claim our seats; I elected to sit next to Minato, he being the one I was most familiar with by virtue of having actually exchanged words with him. One of the teachers, a scruffy-looking man with one arm missing from the elbow stepped to the desk and cleared his throat loudly.

"Welcome, young ones," the guy rasped out, sounding like he had swallowed a handful of steel wool. "I am Kosura Mochimaru. If you are here, then that means that you are seeking to learn about the noble art of the shinobi."

Shinobi, noble? Bull-fucking-shit. There ain't a goddamn thing that's noble about training pre-teens to be soldiers-slash-assassins and then sending them off to fight and die before their hormones have kicked in.

"Though our village is and has always been strong," Stumpy – sorry, _Kosura-sensei_ – rattled on, "these are dark and difficult times that we are currently living in. I used to serve on the front lines, until a mission gone south led to…" he finished with a gesture to his missing arm. "Pay attention to what I and my colleagues have to teach you, and hopefully you will not suffer the same fate, or worse." He then grabbed a piece of paper from his desk and began taking roll.

I recognized a few clan names, but the only ones that stood out besides Minato's were Tsume Inuzuka, who looked a lot like how I imagine a gender-bent Kiba would look; Kizashi Haruno, who I remembered from Road to Ninja as Sakura's father – I'd recognize that starburst hairstyle anywhere; and Hozu Sarutobi, who I'm pretty sure is – was? Will be? – Konohamaru's dad.

Stumpy-sensei informed us that our first subject would be Shinobi History, which elicited a groan from the entire class. Though I didn't verbally express my opinion, I echoed their sentiment. History was always my weakest and most reviled subject all the way up till college. I still didn't like history then, but at least I was somewhat good at it, unlike some other subjects I had taken.

But I digress.

Pulling out a notebook and pencil, I waited with rapt attention to record the information that would soon be pouring forth. One of the reasons why I'm being so diligent is that I was told to do my best, and I don't want to find out the consequences of failure. The second reason is that if I'm too busy taking notes, I can't fall asleep – in theory, at least.

The rest of the day passed by more-or-less painlessly. After History was Math – boring as shit, but easy enough to answer. I briefly considered deliberately answering some of the questions wrong so as not to appear too smart, but I remembered that I was four years younger than 99 percent of my peers, any chance of flying under the radar went poof the moment I stepped foot on the premises. After that was chakra control exercises, joy of joys. We spent an hour trying to stick leaves onto our foreheads; not exactly riveting stuff. Minato and I were sort-of tied for being the first to get the hang of it. He had a few false starts, but managed to get it his leaf to stick for about 20 minutes before slipping; I got it on the first try due to my previous experience with this exercise, but at about the 15-minute mark my mind began to wander and my concentration slipped. Some couldn't even do it at all. After that action-packed lesson, we broke for lunch. Minato and I sat together and got to know each other better. Though his thoughts and articulation was a bit…not exactly childish, but simplistic…he was surprisingly easy to engage a dialogue with.

Heh, me, a guy who should be nearly 30 by now, bonding with an eight-year-old. I don't know if that speaks well of his maturity, or poorly of mine.

I asked him about himself, which he was happy to answer. They were simple, small talk questions: What's your favorite color? Favorite food? What do you want to do when you grow up? Stuff like that. In that order, his answers were red, a home-cooked meal from Chizuru-san (whoever that was), and to become Hokage, each with a long, winding elaboration. He preferred the warmer, more orangey reds, but derided the shades that leaned closer to "pink" as too girly, despite my assertion that pink was merely a synonym for "light-ish red". There were particular dishes that Chizuru-san made that he preferred more than others, and like every kid, he balked when vegetables were on the menu. As for being Hokage…well, to be honest, I just kind of tuned him out at that point.

"What do your parents think of you becoming a ninja?" I asked, and the blond kid immediately froze up. Well, that answered that question.

"It's okay," he said when I tried to change the subject. "You told me about your parents, so it's only fair I tell you about mine." He took a deep, bracing breath and said, "Truth is, I'm an orphan too. I never knew my parents."

Now, I thought that he was lucky, it was better have never had parents than to have them for a little while then lose them like I did, but it seemed rather…insensitive to say that out loud, so I just said, "Sorry." He waved it off and asked me the same questions I asked him. Unlike his long-winded answers, my responses were considerably briefer.

Favorite color: "Dark."

Favorite food: "Meat and sweets."

What do I want to be when I grow up: "Taller." Minato seemed to be getting annoyed by my taciturn responses, so I asked him how he managed to get into the Academy two years early. According to him, there's some sort of test and a physical that you have to pass if you want to get in early. I never had to go through that crap; one of the perks of being part of a major clan, I guess.

"Didn't you go through the same thing?" he asked after explaining it to me.

With a grimace, I ground out, "My clan head put me in." Minato seemed confused by my agitation, but the ring of the bell spared me from further elaboration. We students were led outside where we were arranged into wide rows. This was taijutsu class as it turned out; after stretches, the teacher ran us through a simple three-move kata: Right arm to punch, left arm to block, right arm to punch again. As a lefty, this was a bit awkward for me, but the alternative was potentially knocking into one of my neighbors, so I complied. An hour-and-a-half of that crap later, and my arms felt like my legs do after one of Sunshine's workout runs.

After a cooldown period where my hands went down from a seizure-like shudder to a faint quivering, we started learning hand seals. Everyone had a bitch of a time quickly switching from one seal to another, an issue that our teacher assured us would resolve itself with practice. A problem more particular to me was that I seemed to be making the seals in their reverse form. I have no idea what this means, but apparently it's not good if the fact that the teacher nearly constantly hovered by me to correct my finger positions was any indication. More annoyingly, I seemed to be the only one having this problem since I was the only left-handed kid in class!

After an hour of learning field strategy followed by an hour-and-a-half of PE, which consisted of boot camp classics like sit-ups, push-ups, and running, we were sent finally home. I was tired mentally and physically, but I'd still take this over a session with Sunshine any day. I shuffled into my house and saw Mikoto sitting on the floor of the living room, jangling a toy over Obito, who seemed to be having the time of his life.

"How was your first day at the Academy?" she asked brightly as she set the toy down. Obito immediately snatched it up and tried to stuff it in his mouth.

"I survived," I grunted as I plopped down on the couch and scooped up my baby brother. Of course at that moment he decided that my hair was much more interesting than the toy he was just trying to devour and grabbed two big handfuls of my stringy locks. Ow, ow, ow, ow! Seeing my plight, Mikoto took Obito from my arms, disentangling his fingers from my hair. He immediately grabbed some of her hair, but instead of trying to yank it out like he did to mine, he seemed content to gum on the ends. I glared at the infant as I rubbed my abused scalp, annoyed at the unfairness of it all.

"So dramatic," she sighed with a roll of her eyes, the cheeky girl. Sitting down next to me, she said, "By the way, Fugaku-chan wanted to see you as soon as you got home." Oh, so Sunshine demands my presence? Well fuck him, I don't feel like dealing with him right now.

"He can wait," I said dismissively as I took Obito and laid him down across my lap, keeping his grabby hands far away from my head. "I've had a long day and I haven't spent much time with my brother." Mikoto sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Riku-kun, why do you hate Fugaku-chan so much?" she asked me.

"Because he's an a…bsolute donkey," I immediately began, but seeing the baby laying on my lap, I changed my last word. Mikoto seemed unimpressed by my last-second word swap. "And I don't hate him, not really." His dad, on the other hand….

"I've seen how you react whenever he gets brought up," Mikoto argued with a disbelieving stare. When I raised a questioning eyebrow at her, she continued, "You never refer to him by name, and whenever I mention him, you make a face like…" she scrunched up her face in what I think was an angry scowl. Or maybe it was constipation, it's hard to tell.

"Okay, one, I don't make a face like that," I retorted. "Two, I don't really hate the guy. He's a jerk, and annoys me like you wouldn't believe, but saying I hate him implies that I want him dead, which I don't. I just don't want to ever have to deal with him again." The guy was an asshole, but it wasn't his fault I was forced into becoming a ninja. That's on his father, who again I have no problems admitting I _do_ hate.

"…If you say so," she finally said, clearly not believing me. "He still wants to see you at your usual spot ASAP."

"_Fine_," I groaned in frustration. "I'll go see him…" I said as I stood up and passed Obito back to her, "…as soon as I finish my haircut and shower." I ran into the kitchen to grab a pair of scissors before going into the bathroom to trim my hair to a more reasonable length. After I had cut my hair to about half its former length, I swept the clippings into a trash can and jumped into the shower to wash away the scraps that remained. Cleaned and refreshed, I made my way over to the field that Sunshine and I normally trained at, where he was waiting, bag at his feet and looking more pissed off than usual.

"You're late," he said tersely. I gave an unapologetic shrug.

"I wasn't aware we had an appointment," I replied coolly. He narrowed his eyes at me, and for a moment I thought I saw them flash red.

"My time is precious, _student_," he said with venom in his voice, "and I have little of it to waste on tardy children." Okay, that's it. Three months I've put up with this asshole and his shit. I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore!

"Then why not just leave?" I snapped back. "You clearly don't want to be here, and I don't want _you_ here, so why don't you just do us both a favor and _leave?!_" I shouted angrily. Sunshine seemed momentarily shocked at my outburst before his face became still and hard as stone.

"Unfortunately for the both of us, it is not that simple," he said evenly, "and it seems that you are due a lesson in respect." Me respect you? Fat chance. He reached into his bag and pulled out two wooden sticks, one of which he tossed to me. It was slightly curved and I'd guess its length at about 18 inches. "Now that you are in the Academy, I will no longer be teaching you the basics. Instead, I will focus on training your Sharingan. Activate it now." I gulped nervously and channeled chakra to my eyes, making the world sharper. I had a feeling that I would be paying for my rant soon enough. "I will also be training you in some weapons that the Academy does not teach. For now you will be learning the wakizashi; later, I will teach you the bō and the tonfa. Now, defend yourself!"

* * *

Okay, _now_ I'm starting to hate Sunshine.

After two hours of getting my ass beaten twelve ways from Sunday, I dragged my broken, sorry ass home. When Mikoto saw me, she immediately ordered me to sit on a stool and take my shirt off, an order I was too sore to argue with. Grabbing another jar of her miracle balm, she began to gently massage the medicine into my back, the achiness melting away into a numb tingling sensation.

"What happened out there?" she asked as she spread more of the goop across my back.

"I said something he didn't like hearing," I grunted in response. With how much that bastard beat my ass, I should get _at least_ the next two or three arguments for free. Christ, I understand getting your pound of flesh, but this is just ridiculous.

Mikoto sighed as she moved around to face my front and began slathering balm on my chest. "I'll talk to Fugaku-chan, try to convince him to ease up on the training. _But,_" she added, pointing an accusatory finger at me, "you have to promise to not antagonize him."

"What! I only egged him on this once!" I protested.

"And if you decide to keep doing it, I can't help you," she retorted as she started pushing a little harder than strictly necessary to apply the goop. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Fine, if it'll get him to stop being such a jerk to me, I promise to behave like a good little minion," I said dully. Mikoto glared at me for my sarcasm, but rolled her eyes with a suffering sigh.

"It'll have to do, I suppose," she muttered. She capped the balm jar and wiped her hands on a towel. "Let that sit for at least an hour before bathing. I'll be back tomorrow to reapply the medicine before you head to school. In the meantime, you should rest."

"Thanks, you're a lifesaver, Mikoto," I said as I gingerly stood up. I had bruises on my legs still, but those could wait until I had some privacy.

"…Call me nee-san," she said. When I looked at her in confusion, she continued, "With as much as I've been taking care of you and Obito-chan, you're starting to feel like the little brothers I never had."

"I can take care of myself," I huffed. Still, I've never had a big sister; it could be an interesting experience. "Good night, Miko-nee," I bid her, bringing a bright smile to her face.

"Good night, Riku-kun!" she replied. She gave her final cutesy goodbyes to Obito before leaving for the night. I scooped him up and he immediately started grasping for my hair.

"I cut it you little twerp," I told the baby, who started to whimper when he couldn't get to his favorite plaything, "what are you going to do now?"

"_WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!_" Me and my big mouth….

* * *

"What happened to you?" Minato asked in shock when he saw me the next day. While Mikoto's balm helped with the pain, it did little to prevent the bruising. Thus, I came to school looking like I had taken a bath in ink; most of my body below my neck was covered in bruises.

"Training mishap," I answered simply.

"What kind of training, wrestling with a bear?" he asked incredulously.

"More like sparring with an ass," I replied as I prepared for another day of listening to Stumpy ramble on about more dead people.

Thus was my life for the foreseeable future: Show up to school, try not to fall asleep, go home and report to Sunshine for my daily ass-whooping, and repeat. To my surprise, Mikoto pulled through; Sunshine was acting less like a dick. He was still grumpy and short with me, but he actually took the time to explain things to me as opposed to that disastrous first day when he just mercilessly wailed on me. I kept to my end of the deal and was on my best behavior for him – out loud, at least. Obito was learning to crawl, and was quite the speedy little bugger to boot. Unfortunately he was also starting to teeth, which caused no end of headaches. If he wasn't eating or sleeping, there was barely a quiet moment to be had. I don't remember it hurting that much when _I_ teethed!

Between his genuine genius and my advanced knowledge, Minato and I vied for the Rookie of the Year position; as it turns out, most kids don't like it when they're shown up by someone two years their junior, and even less so by one _four_ years younger, so Minato and I kind of drifted together for lack of other options. We developed a dynamic, one where he prattled on while I smiled and made the occasional comment. It was a system that worked out nicely for us. That's not to say it was completely smooth sailing: About a month after we met, I noticed that Minato was looking at me oddly, like he wanted to say something but was afraid to say it, so I confronted him at lunch.

"Okay Minato, something's clearly bugging you, so spill it," I said as we sat down.

"Well…" he began uncertainly, "the thing is, I know how much clans like to keep internal matters private…"

"_Out with it._"

"When we first met, and you said that your clan head enrolled you early, you didn't seem too happy about that," he said. I resisted the urge to drop my face into my hands. It was about _that_. "So I was wondering what was up with that." I thought about what I should say. Should I give it to him straight? Should I evade? Should I lie? I decided to just tell him the truth; he's my friend, so I owe him some measure of trust.

"The truth is…" I began before giving a heavy sigh. "The truth is, I was forced to come here by my clan. I never wanted to be a ninja at all."

"_What?_" he exclaimed loudly, bringing the attention of several nearby students to us. He winced under my withering glare and, after waiting several minutes for the observers to go back to their own business, said more quietly, "What? Why wouldn't you want to be a ninja? It's like the coolest job ever!" I sighed and rubbed my forehead. How does one explain the immorality of child soldiers to a kid who was raised in a culture that encouraged them? Hell, how do you explain it to an adult?

"I have my reasons," I eventually said. Minato blinked at me in confusion.

"What reasons?" he asked.

"Minato, let it go," I told him as I focused my attention to my lunch.

"But—"

"Minato, I answered your question, _now_ _drop it._"

"…Okay, Riku-kun, I will." For the next few days, Minato walked on eggshells around me, but eventually the confrontation was forgotten and we went back to how we were before, which suited me just fine.

* * *

Around two months in, Kosura-sensei was replaced by an average-looking guy wearing a bandana, Chimoru-sensei. I don't know why ol' Stumpy was replaced, but I wasn't about to complain. A few weeks later, before class started, he came in with a girl about Minato's age with a yellow sleeveless blouse and _very_ familiar bloody-red hair.

"All right, we have a new transfer student in today who'll be attending our academy," Chimoru-sensei said as the girl fidgeted shyly under the stares she was getting.

Her nerves reaching a peak, she shouted out, "I'm Uzumaki Kushina, _dattebane!_" She gasped when she realized what she said and covered her mouth in embarrassment. The room began buzzing with the kids either laughing at her verbal tic or making fun of her crimson hair, which I noticed she was playing with self-consciously. Rolling my eyes in irritation, I stood up and gave her a friendly wave.

"Nice to meet you, Kushina!" I cried out. She gave a hesitant wave back.

Mustering up her courage, she declared, "I'm going to become the first female Hokage!" This shocked the room into stupefied silence. The only response was Minato standing up and hitting his chest with a proud smile.

"I'm going to become a great Hokage too, one that'll be admired by the entire village!" he said. I'm sure he meant to be encouraging with that, but if the reddening face and puffed cheeks were any indication, it didn't have quite the effect he was going for.

"Are you making fun of me?" she snapped at the blond, who blinked in surprise.

"N-no, I was just saying that we both want to be Hokage," he tried to placate the angry girl. "I'm sure you'll be a great Godaime Hokage!" This only seemed to set her off further.

"Not if I get there first, 'ttebane!" she shouted.

"What? I'm going to be the Yondaime!" Minato retorted.

"No, I am!"

"I am!"

"No, I—" Before the argument could descend any further, I grabbed the back of Minato's jacket and roughly pulled him back into his seat. Standing up, I gave a bright smile and said:

"You'll be a great Hokage, Kushina." A big fat lie of course, but she looked like she needed the encouragement. After that little kerfuffle had been defused, Kushina took a seat in the back, and everything was fine, for the moment.

After Chakra Control class had ended and we were about to head to lunch, a bunch of kids ganged up around Kushina and began to make fun of her, mostly her hair and her dreams. I looked to Minato who seemed content to just watch the confrontation unfurl. Groaning in irritation, I stood up and stalked over to one of the boys pointing at Kushina's hair and pulled it back, making him cry out in pain.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you that it was rude to point?" I tossed him aside and barely dodged a punch from another boy. I responded with a punch to the stomach followed by an elbow to the back, in the general area of where the kidneys were. Kushina took advantage of the distraction by grabbing one kid's arm and spinning around, knocking aside everyone within range. Unfortunately, that included me. "Hey, I'm on your side!" I cried out in annoyance. She didn't seem to hear me though as she straddled one of the bullies and began wailing on his head. I tried to pull her off, but she was a lot stronger than she looked and easily resisted my attempts. The teacher came and pulled us all apart before sending me and Kushina to the principal's office. Since it was the first offense for the both of us, we were basically warned that if we _really_ needed to beat the crap out of somebody, to save it for the sparring lessons before letting us go to lunch.

"I didn't need your help, you know!" she lit into me as we navigated the hallways to the cafeteria.

"I know," I said nonchalantly, which seemed to throw her off. "But it wasn't about you _needing_ help, it was about my _wanting_ to help. You're welcome, by the way." From the corner of my eye, I saw her face flush and heard her mumble a barely audible thanks. Eh, good enough. "I'm Riku," I introduced myself with a hand extended outward. She looked at me in confusion before slowly shaking it.

"Hi, Riku-san," she said. Nodding in satisfaction, I began to pick up the pace.

"Let's go, I'm starving and I still need to lay into Minato for not helping me," I grumbled.

"Minato?" Kushina asked as she matched pace with me, not a difficult feat considering she was about three inches taller than me. "That blond boy you were sitting next to?" At my nod, she said flatly, "I can't believe you're friends with that twit."

"He's fine once you get to know him," I defended as we strode into the cafeteria. After quickly introducing the future husband and wife to each other, I took my customary seat across from Minato. "So, Minato, care to tell me why you saw fit not to assist me during my time of need?" I asked faux-pleasantly as I began to dig into my lunch.

"You seemed to have everything under control," Minato answered with a shrug. Not the answer I would have preferred, but it was in the past, no point in getting worked up over it. Kushina seemed to think differently however as she stared coolly at the blond across from her.

"You know, you won't make a very good Hokage if you won't even help your friend out in a fight," she sniped as she broke apart her chopsticks. Minato seemed to catch onto her tone and gave a haughty sniff.

"And _you_ won't make a very good Hokage if you start flinging people around just because they make fun of you," he shot back. "And besides, I already said Riku-kun looked like he had it under control. He shouldn't have had that much trouble dealing with one girl." Hoo boy, things were going to get ugly soon. Kushina very slowly and deliberately set her chopsticks down and stood up. Her hair began to waft in the wind in a very Kurama-like fashion. Didn't she get him after this though?

"So what are you saying, Minato-_kun_?" she asked, stressing the honorific sarcastically. "Are you saying that girls are weak, or that girls can't become Hokage?"

"I-I'm not saying that at all!" Minato tried to backpedal. "I'm just trying to—"

"Trying to _what?_" Kushina challenged. By now we had begun to draw an audience.

"Guys, I really think you should—" I tried to say, but was interrupted by Minato.

"I'm not trying to say anything, you…_you meanie!_" he shouted. I fought down a snort at this. Meanie, really? That's the best you could come up with?

"Meanie? What are you, five?" Apparently, Kushina wasn't impressed by the lackluster insult either.

"I'm eight!" Minato replied as he jumped up in outrage.

"Oh? I'm nine, so from where I stand, you're just a little snot-nosed brat!" she declared with her arms crossed.

"Oh yeah? Well from where I stand, you're just a wrinkly old hag!" came the retort, eliciting shocked gasps from the crowd, a jaw dropped in outrage from Kushina, and an embarrassed groan from me. Looks like Minato was about to learn the hard way why you never take potshots at a girl's age.

"You…you take that back!" she sputtered, her face reddening with rage.

"No, I won't!" Minato countered stubbornly.

"Brat!"

"Hag!"

"Ugh…" I groaned as the two kept volleying insults at each other. One little change in canon on my part, and now I'm stuck playing the beleaguered middleman between the future Fourth Hokage and future container of the Nine-Tailed Fox, who would later get married and spawn the guy that would save the world.

"_TOMATO!_"

"_**LEMON-HEAD!**_"

…Assuming they don't kill each other before then. God help me, what the fuck did I just get myself into?

* * *

And that's chapter three. I hope you liked it, and don't forget to leave a review.

The cover image is my concept for Riku's Mangekyō Sharingan, in case you were wondering.


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